By Karen Donato
Staff Writer
The Houlton Band of Maliseet Indians held their twelfth candlelight vigil at the Riverside gymnasium this past week attracting more than 75 individuals. Jane Root, director of the Maliseet domestic violence office and her staff organized the event.
The crowd was welcomed by Tribal Chief Brenda Commander who spoke about the importance of mentoring non-violent ways in our homes.Houlton Pioneer Times Photo/Karen Donato
REMEMBERING — Frances Sabatis and her son Joseph light a candle in memory of a victim of domestic violence at the Candlelight Vigil held by the Houlton Band of Maliseet Indians at the Riverside gymnasium last week.
Commander said, “It is important to respect all living things and this lighted candle is a symbol of taking domestic violence out of the darkness to support those in despair.”
The gymnasium was decorated with a clothesline displaying dozens of colored shawls that had been painted with phrases describing the hopes for a non-violent world and purple balloons printed with the “Dream of a world without domestic violence” phrase.
Imelda Perley, spiritual leader for the Maliseets reinforced Commander’s words and gave the audience the history of the purpose of smudging. She reminded everyone to take care of the earth, use words that do not hurt, learn to love all creation, do not use hands to violate anyone, honor creation, walk for those who cannot and always walk together in harmony.
The Maliseet women’s drumming group provided selections throughout the program and Amy, a domestic violence survivor shared her story of abuse as a teenage bride and mother.
Moving from Houlton to another state she was subjected to 10 years of verbal and physical abuse. She finally left her husband, but in that move she lost physical custody of her two young children. It has been a painful 10 years of waking up without them, but since she has returned to the Houlton area she is thankful that she has her life and is happily remarried. Her children are grown now and able to make their own decisions and they are slowly rebuilding the line of communication.
Amy repeated the threats she tolerated for many years including, “If you ever leave me, I will kill you. If you find someone else, I will kill them, too. No one could love you more than I do. You don’t want to leave. What will you do? You don’t have any education.”Houlton Pioneer Times Photo/Karen Donato
RECEIVES GIFT CERTIFICATE — The Maliseet Domestic Violence Director, Jane Root, left, presented Dayna Boyce with a gift certificate to the Horn of Plenty Restaurant when her name was selected at the Domestic Violence Candlelight Vigil held at Riverside gymnasium last week.
She was grabbed, thrown around, violated and even burned with a cigarette. Amy’s first husband would grab her by the hair and then punch the top of her head so that the bruises wouldn’t show.
After returning to Houlton, she obtained her high school GED and has taken courses at Northern Maine Community College. She has a job and is helping others who find themselves in the same situation that she lived through.
Amy said, “At 16, I thought I knew it all. I didn’t listen to my mother, who tried to tell me I was too young to get married. She told me how important it was to complete my education, I wish I had listened, but I didn’t. I thought I would have a better life in another place.”
Today, Amy hopes that with more domestic violence programs offered at school and in the community, that young girls will be stronger and not be influenced by their abusers. The abusers rarely change and they never keep their promises.
As author, Dorothy Thompson said, “Only when we are no longer afraid do, we begin to live.” Attendees were invited to light a candle in memory of victims of domestic violence, after the ceremony each one took a balloon outside to send off into the night in hopes that the words printed on the balloons would spread the word far and wide.EXPRESSIONS — Shawls painted with thoughts of domestic violence experiences were displayed across the Riverside gymnasium at the Maliseet Candlelight Vigil.
Several staff members wore t-shirts imprinted with the words “Catch the Dream of Ending Domestic Violence.” They had also shared by E-mail their hopes for ending the abuse and their names were submitted for a special drawing at the event. Dayna Boyce was the winner and recipient of a gift certificate to the Horn of Plenty Restaurant.
For more information on the Domestic Violence program offered by the Maliseets, contact Director Jane Root, 694-1353 or to talk to an advocate, call 532-6401.
The Maliseet program offers support, emergency shelter and legal assistance.