Poignant vigil at Maliseet gym

Houlton Pioneer Times Photo/Elna Seabrooks
REMEMBERING A LOVED ONE — Phyllis Deveau, front, and her sister Helen Taylor light candles to remember a victim of domestic violence.
By Elna Seabrooks
Staff Writer
    HOULTON — Emotions ran high at the Riverside Gymnasium on Oct. 20 during the 13th annual  vigil to remember victims and survivors of domestic violence. Maliseet Chief Brenda Commander said “it is important to bring together a cross-section of people for the event because this is a serious matter and violence is unacceptable.”
    For some, the pain of regret and the tears of sorrow expressed at the event were almost too much to bear. Remembering lives and relationships lost to domestic violence filled the space with a wrenching expression of grief. Hurt was expressed not only for loved ones, but also, for unknown victims who have died or who have pieced together a new existence away from their abusers.
    The program included drumming by the Four Winds which Jane Root, director of the Maliseet Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Advocacy Program, said “enters the very soul.” The group performed several times including one performance that was an honor song for men and women affected by domestic violence.
    Throughout the gym, there were demonstrations of determination to offer hope and stop violence against domestic partners. A small circle of 11 chairs with white shawls wrapped around the back of each chair had the name, age and facts about a victim who died in 2010 at the hands of an abuser. The youngest victim was 15 months old.
    Colorful shawls with messages written by survivors were hung high around the gym. And, an exhibit that has been staged at the Blue Moon Gallery was on display that evening. It is entitled “Silent No More, Catch the Dream of Ending Domestic Violence.” That was also the title of the vigil.
    A large circle of chairs for some 70-75 visitors surrounded the four female drummers who sang, chanted and drummed. At one point, they remembered one of the founders of the group, Sally Joseph, who died recently from a physical illness not related to domestic violence. One by one, several close family members and friends, approached the drummers and stood arm-in-arm. The silent, dignified weeping in contrast with the mournful wailing and powerful drumming was one of the evening’s most touching moments during a tribute to a woman whose spirit and talent had touched many others in her lifetime.
Houlton Pioneer Times Photo/Elna Seabrooks
SHAWL OF REMEMBRANCE — Nalani Alvarado watches as Catherine St. John, advocate/shelter coordinator for the Maliseet Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Advocacy Program places a teal shawl on a chair to remember victims of sexual assault.
    In the highly charged and emotional atmosphere, speakers conveyed the torment related to domestic violence. Guest speaker, Jennifer Irish, who has returned to Houlton after living in other parts of the United States for several years, told the audience about her ordeal of being a teenager married to an abuser. After discussing several unsuccessful attempts to leave her older husband, she expressed hope about her new life following her divorce and her determination to continue a court battle to regain custody of her son with whom she can now visit.
    Two men could not retain their composure as they spoke separately through tears about the damaging effect their words had on their wives and families that eventually resulted in the loss of those relationships.
    Before releasing purple environmentally friendly balloons during the candlelight walk, guests walked to a table where they had been invited to light a candle of remembrance.
Root said this year’s vigil “was incredible – the most powerful I’ve witnessed in more than 21 years of doing this work.”