Tom Weber, formerly a columnist for the Bangor Daily News, annually revisited his vivid description of what he termed “the lost men of Christmas,” lonely, bereft, and increasingly panicky characters who appeared in shopping malls on Christmas Eve like unwelcome ghosts in the bed chamber of Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Lacking ideas or inspiration, rudderless and directionless, they wander aimlessly and hopelessly, in Weber’s own words, “like the Lost Boys in Peter Pan, but with long pants.”
We smile in recognition at his description of last-minute shoppers exposed to picked-over leftovers of a Christmas buying frenzy and the tinny repetitive notes of a tired Muzak tape loop with a semi-holiday theme, suffering not a clue of what to look for or what to buy. We also secretly recognize the rising desperation in our own holiday shopping experience.
We all have a great-Aunt who is impossible to satisfy or a parent who simply buys what s/he needs when s/he needs it rather than dropping broad, helpful hints to aid development of a satisfying and satisfactory holiday shopping list. Even more difficult to buy for are the nieces, nephews, or seldom-seen children of friends who live away whose tastes are a complete cipher to a generation twice removed … lost men indeed.
We battle crowds with decidedly uncharitable determination, throwing body checks like enforcers in the NHL and cutting off potential competition in the aisles with Andretti-like shopping cart maneuvers. Black Friday may mean black ink for retailers, but only black moods and black bruises for consumers who buy into the tradition of working off the soporific effects of too much Thanksgiving turkey with adrenalin-pumping consumer combat in the holiday arena.
Once home, we find ourselves too busy and too frazzled to even consider the absurdity of our actions, purchasing plastic crap made in China and marketed throughout the world by big box stores like Walmart, which is then wrapped, packed and posted at additional expense to a far-flung destination that undoubtedly possesses its own ubiquitous Walmart close at hand. At least it makes the second-largest retail day, the day after Christmas with long lines forming in front of the return counter, easier for the recipient to navigate. If there really are Christmas angels like Clarence, watching hopefully for an opportunity to step in and earn his wings, imagine their confusion — so many more Mr. Potters than George Baileys in our world.
Alternatives exist, lost men and women! Unique, locally hand made items, artwork from talented neighbors, and fresh, flavorful foods from Aroostook County farms will be available at the very first Holiday Farmers and Artisans Market in the Multipurpose Room in the University of Maine at Presque Isle Campus Center. It will take place from 9 a.m. – 2 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 19th to enable welcome patrons to shop for Thanksgiving meal items, special holiday gifts for both man and beast, and even some potions and lotions to make your achy joints well again should you decide to battle the crowds the following Friday all the same.
Stop by, drop by … there is plenty of parking at the top of the hill and plenty of vendors with holiday smiles to visit with inside. Hope to see you there!
Editor’s note: This weekly column is written by members of the Presque Isle Farmers’ Market. For more information or to join, contact their secretary/treasurer Steve Miller of Westmanland at 896-5860 or via e-mail at beetree@xpressamerica.net. The group’s website is https://sites.google.com/site/presqueislefarmersmarket/
