When I get together with my siblings, beyond the events in our daily lives, each of us gravitates to certain conversational topics. One brother likes to talk about military issues, while another loves to probe political and philosophical topics. I have wondered what other relatives talked about and felt. Interviewing someone who knew them is a wonderful chance to get to know them.
Look through your files and see what information is missing that living family members might be able to provide. When talking to relatives do not confine yourself to names, dates and places; this is the chance for you to really flesh out your family story.
Think of these relatives in terms of who they might have known that you did not. For example, when I was young I met my Auntie Bea a few times, but I never knew her sister, my grandmother. On a recent visit to an elderly relative I was able to ask a few questions about seeing these two women together. She was able to tell me how they related to each other on a personal level. Were they “huggers”? Did they seem glad to see each other or was there tension, did they fight? What did they talk about? For example, I knew we called them Nana and Auntie Bea, but how did they refer to each other. Both Nana and Auntie Bea were born in the 1890s, and were more formally raised, and apparently they called each other by their correct names, no nicknames or shortening of names as we commonly use today.
I had seen a set of photos of Nana standing alone, and standing with my older siblings as young children. I had always assumed that this was a special event, because Nana is wearing a hat and gloves. What I found out by talking with relatives who knew her is that she was “raised to be a lady” and always dressed this way. That is how I found out that my Nana had attended a “finishing school.”
We have a very old letter addressed to Nana’s son, in which a man from Alaska was answering questions about what she and my uncle would need in order to homestead in Alaska. This raised the question of whose idea homesteading in Alaska was, and how serious they were about it.
I have always been a “dreamer,” hoping to travel and take my kids places I will probably never go. My mother was the same way. This letter could have suggested the same thing about my grandmother, but it might have been an inquiry about a serious intention which she was just never able to fulfill.
By asking what my grandmother and her sister talked about when they were together I learned that Nana and my Aunt discussed traveling to Ireland, from which their grandparents had emigrated. But my grandmother was also the type to impulsively suggest a trip to California or Canada, and her sister clearly considered her an unrealistic dreamer. That’s three direct generations of dreamers.
How far does a mother’s influence carry? Asking the simplest questions may help you find the answer. Just ask!
Editor’s note: Columnist Nina Brawn of Dover-Foxcroft, who has been doing genealogy for over 30 years, is a freelance genealogy researcher, speaker and teacher. Reader e-mails are welcome at ninabrawn@ gmail.com. The Aroostook County Genealogical Society meets the fourth Monday of the month except in July and December at the Cary Medical Center’s Chan Education Center, 163 Van Buren Road, Caribou, at 6:30 p.m. Guests and prospective members are always welcome. FMI contact Edwin “J” Bullard at 492-5501.
