I think Art Linkletter and Bill Cosby were on to something. Kids do say the darndest things sometimes.
Linkletter created the concept on his radio show, which aired from 1945-69. Cosby introduced the format to an entire new generation with a television show that aired from 1998-2000.
The format is quite simple, really. A host would pose a question to a child, usually between the ages of 3-8, and the child would respond with cute and often comical answers. The Houlton Pioneer Times has a similar play on the idea with its “Kid’s Say” feature that we run from time to time.
Sometimes, you just never know what will come out of the mouths of children.
Normally, the bizarre and often random comments came from my own children which had me wondering if my kids were suffering from some new, yet diagnosed disorder. Thanks to interviewing youths for our “Kid’s Say” segment at the newspaper, as well as posts made on Facebook by friends who also have children of similar age, I soon discovered this affliction was not limited to just my household.
That assessment was further confirmed this past summer when I agreed to “coach” my youngest daughter with T-ball through the Houlton Recreation Department.
For the record, it marked my second time “coaching” a T-ball team and went much better than my prior attempt. The first time came when we lived in Thomaston when my oldest daughter was around 5 years old. I agreed to take on a team, only to have my daughter decide T-ball was not her thing two weeks into the season. Since I was committed, I continued on teaching the ways of T-ball to other people’s kids, while my own child stayed home and played on the swingset.
Unfazed, I decided to give T-ball another try this past summer when my youngest said she wanted to do T-ball but only if I would be her coach. The second-go-round went much smoother and was actually quite enjoyable.
I was unable to be at two games due to scheduling conflicts and actually found I missed it.
Did I miss the swinging, and more often than not, missing of said T-ball? No. I missed some of the conversations going on between the players on the team. Some of the stuff these kids would come up with had me in stitches much of the time.
“I’m hungry. Do you have any cake?” one precocious player asked.
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t have any cake,” was my response.
“OK, how about a candy bar? Or could you turn my glove into a plate of dinner, cuz I am really hungry,” the player tells me.
“I’m sorry, I left my magic wand home tonight,” was the best I could come up with.
Another turned to me at one point and blurted out, “my goldfish died.” Not sure how to proceed for fear of creating a tear-filled breakdown on the field, I simply replied “Oh, really?” “Yeah, it was a long time ago. He’s probably watching us right now from fish Heaven.”
Alrighty then.
At a different game, another player turned to me and asked “Is it almost midnight?”
“Ummm, no. It’s only 5:30. Why do you ask?” was my response.
“Because I’d really like to play at night with the lights on,” was his answer.
Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?
At our final game of the season, a different youngster turned to me in the field and said “Are we going to have a water balloon fight?” Apparently, water balloon fights are the norm for the final session of Dutch Soccer Academy, but I was not prepared.
“Nope, sorry. I left all my balloons home,” was all I could come up with.
“That’s OK. Hey, do you like video games?” he then said. “I do. And candy.”
Finally, someone asked me something I could relate to.
Joseph Cyr is a staff writer for the Houlton Pioneer Times. He can be reached at pioneertimes@nepublish.com or 532-2281.
