Creepy, scary things associated with Halloween are supposed to frighten us. Haunted houses, weird costumes, fake cobwebs, dangling paper maché bats, satin witch hats, black cats, hokey headstones, waxy makeup, realistic masks, long green wigs; you get the picture! Young and old alike are thrilled with the season. And of course, there is the candy. Need I say more?
And then, there are the things that truly terrify us; things that often have absolutely nothing to do with Halloween. In celebration of All Hallow’s Eve, I would like to take a different spin and share some non-Halloween things that that cause my spine to tingle.
Those flying monkeys in the movie, “The Wizard of Oz.” Do you remember them? Little flying soldiers that swooped down and grabbed Toto right up off the ground. You know, just about everyone in my life still trembles when those tiny demons pepper the sky, and to this day, I cannot watch that part of the beloved film.
And then there are mice. The average field mouse weighs about six ounces and sports an adorable, light pink nose. I can moose-watch for hours but just let a mouse dash across my field of vision, and I cannot move fast enough. (And these days, I don’t move very fast, my friends.)
Ice. That’s right! Icy sidewalks, icy wooden decks, and even icy grass. For some reason, my feet refuse to step down on that shiny, slippery coating of semi-solid, glistening water crystals. With a bag of salt before me, I may venture out on an untreated, glaring surface but not without ice treads and something nearby to cling to.
Escalators. I am terrified of escalators. The secret is planting your foot far enough away from the step seam to avoid toppling to your death. I have spent a great deal of time observing expert escalator riders and I am most amazed at those who can actually maneuver two or three steps at a time without blinking an eye. Give me an elevator and stairways any day!
I can’t forget June bugs. Perfectly oval, metallic brown, super-sized insects that have no shame. They crash into our cheeks, mouths, eyes, and even our ears in their frantic pursuit of light. They often end up dazed at our feet, spinning on their shiny backs and completely at our mercy. The thought of dancing a little jig right on top of their submissive little bodies is tempting, I must admit, but I am more concerned with getting out of their way before they come to their senses and launch another attack!
If you really want to hear me scream, just give me a roll of Pillsbury biscuits and ask me to “pop” them. I will stand far away from the cutting board, slam the side of the container down as hard as I can, and shriek when that package splits open with a bang.
In the “spirit” of the holiday, please have a happy and safe Halloween!
Belinda Wilcox Ouellette lives Connor TWP with her husband Dale and their Goldendoodle Barney. They are currently working on building a home in Caribou. You may contact Belinda online at: dbwouellette@ maine.rr.com.
