People should calm down about ebola
and have a laugh?
While so many of us are caught up in the mass fear and media-driven hypochondria over the ebola virus, I wanted to share some things you should actually be freaking out over:
Just when you thought West Africa couldn’t get any scarier, did you know 2,900 people are killed every year by hippopotamuses? Those terrible creatures can gallop 18 mph! And to think, I took my kids to see one at the zoo a few years ago and we were not wearing our running shoes. I shudder just thinking about it.
Did you know approximately 100 people die every year from choking on pens? My son was chewing his pen last night while doing homework. I am just sick over how close we came to losing him.
Approximately 150 people are killed every year by falling coconuts. And this is exactly why I refuse to go anywhere tropical for our next family vacation. Pack your suitcases my darlings, we’re going to Russia for some family fun.
Wait a minute, I just read that falling icicles kill 100 people in Russia every year. Forget the family vacation.
Around 450 people die every year from falling out of bed. It will no longer be the thoughts of scary clowns to keep me up at night; it will be the terrifying two foot drop off I’m sleeping next to.
There are 1,000 bicycle-related deaths each year. Which is why I cling to my husband’s ankles every Monday evening as he tries to leave for a mountain bike ride, sobbing hysterically about how selfish he is to leave me alone to raise these heathens/kids.
Between 170-190 people die every year from choking on popcorn, making it one of the Top 5 Deadliest Snacks. So next time my kids beg me to make popcorn for them, I will say no, not because I’m too lazy but because I care about their lives.
Jellyfish kill 40 people every year in the Philippines. Add that to the falling coconuts and we’ve got a country way scarier than Liberia.
Vending machines kill 13 people every year and yet, we somehow never hear about this silent killer. The next time we walk by one of those death traps and my kid asks for a Snickers bar, I will feel completely justified to grab him and shriek for somebody to call 9-1-1.
Two million people die every year from Malaria transmitted by mosquitoes. TWO MILLION. And there is no vaccine.
Thirty-six thousand people in the U.S. die every year from the seasonal flu — 36,000. And there is an effective vaccine but many choose not to get it.
Every day nine people in the U.S. are killed and 1,150 are injured from texting while driving. And yet we still haven’t put our phones away.
Renee Chalou Ennis of Presque Isle writes a blog “I can’t wipe off this stupid grin” for the Bangor Daily News.
