Farmers’ Market: The Lorax
Intellectually, most of us understand that a “dope slap” does not actually solve the problem. If this were not true, there would be a lot more people in Congress flinching when we extend a hand or squinting at us through raccoon eyes. Even though we all know this, we all experience times when we must simply keep our hands fisted deep in our pockets to keep them out of trouble.
As a beekeeper and purveyor of honey at the Presque Isle Farmers Market on Saturdays in the Aroostook Centre Mall parking lot, I frequently find that customers harbor mistaken impressions or have no knowledge at all about the role of pollinators in our ecosystems or honey as medicine, cleanser, or culinary delight. With apologies for misquoting Dr. Seuss’ most excellent story, “I speak for the bees!”
Most of the folks that I speak to are genuinely curious, listen carefully, and ask reasonable questions that indicate that they are actually building understanding. It is a delight to interact with these people. The same is true for visitors to the farm who express curiosity about the hives or folks at the grocery store concerned about the plight of bees based on an item in the news … happy to help … “to learn” is a verb after all.
However, every once in a while, the experience of attempting to dispel misinformation feels like a task of Sisyphus, apparently futile and endless. Recently, I encountered a man who repeatedly told anyone within ear shot, “Look out for that porch rail. There’s a nest of bees.” Since he otherwise seemed like a reasonably intelligent fellow, I repeated myself four times citing different facts to support my explanation.
“Dude. They are not bees.” 1.) If they were bees, they would be bumble bees which are solitary. They don’t bunch up and they are about as uninterested in people passing by as a fence post. You would have to step right on one to make it try to defend itself by stinging.
2.) If by some remote chance they were honey bees, they would not have a nest on a porch rail. Honey bees look for hollow trees or spaces to sneak into between walls in a house. They build comb; they do not build nests, and definitely not roundish orbs of gray, papery material. Bees would not live in the open under a porch rail.
3.) If by an even more remote chance, they were a swarm still waiting for “honeybee democracy” to finalize the decision-making process of where to go next, they would be calm as milk. I can reach into a swarm of bees clustered in a tree with bare hands, scoop them up, and dump them by the armful into an office paper box to take home to my apiary.
4.) Hornets, wasps, yellow-jackets all exist in northern Maine, all cluster, all fly, all can be aggressive. Why the heck do you imagine these insects to be bees?!
Dope slap, pure and simple. Next week, round two …
