Coaches are people too
By Ruth Shaw
Special to The Star-Herald
Coaching at the elementary, middle and high school level is “all about the kids.” That is as it should be. Every school board, administrator and parent expects, demands and indeed hopes and prays that signing their child up for a team will ensure they have a positive experience.
They have expectations that range all the way from just learning the basics and having fun, to winning state championships.
Much has been written about the fact that young athletes “win” tremendously just by the self-esteem they gain from being on a team, but even more has been written on how to win the championships that will ultimately mark the student athlete as a “champion for life.” So, let’s talk about the volunteer or low-paid coaches that start all these “champions” on their way. Let’s talk about the reasons why anyone in their right mind would sign up to coach a school-related team sport.
Obviously anyone who coaches has knowledge of the sport. They are usually players or former players who may or may not have played at a very high level. Even if they did not compete past their illustrious high school careers, they may be astute students of the game and have a talent for teaching and coaching.
They come in all sizes, shapes, genders, ages and physical conditions, but one thing is consistent; from the moment that person is selected to coach the team, all eyes are on him or her. Long before they ever set foot on the field or in the gym, their name is being bandied about all over town, all over social media, even in the local media.
Coaching is a big deal in America and everyone has an opinion on every hire.
Imagine you are an average man or woman offering your name to coach. You get the job. You do the job. You do your best and yet, low and behold throughout the season, something happens. It could be a good thing or a bad thing like a big loss or an injured player, but think about this: somebody somewhere will be talking about that for the next 40 years!
If any part of that “something” was to your credit — or your fault (and it will be because you were the coach), then your name will be brought up over and over and over again. Are you still in? Still ready to sign up? Are you sure you really want to be a coach?
There are a few normal reasons why anyone signs up to coach. They may have a child playing and want to be involved; they may have a love of the game and a little time on their hands or they may be a professional for whom this is a career move. Ultimately, however, someone who takes on the role of a coach believes he or she has something to offer.
I have heard experienced coaches say they cherish the fact that they can be one of the most influential people ever to impact a player’s life. A coach is, for some players, part god and part man. And that “man” controls the playing time that is the “golden elixir” to a dedicated athlete’s success.
Some people come to coaching with modest expectations for themselves and their players, some come with, or soon develop, over-blown egos but all hope to do a good job, all want approval and all hope (though they dare not and best not say it) that they too will have a good and rewarding experience.
How dare they? How dare that coach want to have fun? How dare he or she want to feel that rush from having accomplished something? How dare the coach want to feel the importance associated with having coached a good team? How dare that coach want to be worthy of praise? Don’t they know, it’s all about the kids?
But coaches are people too.
Coaches also have family lives. Regardless of the circumstances, each coach is voluntarily taking time out of the rest of their life to serve in this way.
For sure coaches don’t do it for the money. No school district has enough money to offer so that anyone would ever do it just for the money — and that is seen as a good thing, because the administration and parents think you should be doing it just because you love it.
What are the costs of coaching? Missed or late suppers, huge responsibilities, extreme scrutiny, criticism at every corner, time away from family, time away from work, hours of physical energy spent in the gym or on the field, planning, worry, pressure, details pertaining to everything from uniforms to player eligibility and on and on. Coaches have to become qualified by taking courses that are mandatory. Mistakes can result in fines from the Maine Principals’ Association, injuries to a player or even lawsuits.
Is the public watching how the coach performs? Oh yes. Picture this common scenario which occurs regularly. A team is progressing toward an appearance at the tournament. Interest in the town is high. The game ends, the crowd files out and before the stroke of midnight, that coach might be publicly “knighted” or might become the biggest “rat” in town.
So thinking about this person who has agreed to be “The Coach,” let’s dare to consider his or her feelings for just a moment.
Do coaches ever have self-doubt, personality weaknesses, pride and fear? Do they take criticism well, get excited, tired or angry? Do they cry, feel worthy, expect thanks? Do they love the game? Are coaches people too?
Administrators and parents have every right to hope for perfection from coaches, but they should understand that they will never get perfection. Even if the coach is a world famous pro athlete, even if the coach is a great sports psychologist, a guru, the person who invented the game, they may still play the wrong kids, lose the big game, hurt someone’s feelings. Because he is just a person doing the best he can.
The old adages prevail. “Players win games, coaches lose them.” “A coach gets far too much credit when a team wins and far too much criticism when a team loses.”
The armchair experts (and everyone is an expert) will never go away and until someone’s own child or loved one becomes a coach. The idea of coaches being people too will be lost on many.
Ruth Shaw is a former high school athlete who coached varsity basketball and volleyball for a short time. She is married to long-time coach/athletic administrator and Maine Sports Legends inductee, Steve Shaw of Mars Hill.
