Dear self,
Hello how are you doing? I would ask aloud but it’s considered a bit maniacal to talk to yourself in a dark room at 11:25 p.m. on a stark and lonesome Thursday night. I love you sir. I love your brain and how you think, and although sometimes you may think too much, I never stop loving you because it’s better to over think than to under think!
I don’t know I’m just foolish I guess. Me and you have always been good friends right? I’ve known you since the first moment you were able to know yourself. It’s been awhile since we’ve had a good talk, and there’s a lot of things I would just love to get off of my chest. We’re in desperate need of a good talk.
For starters I just want to state how utterly boring you’ve become. What happened to that quirky, ADHD infused, child that I grew to love and understand? Everything about you was poppin’ and you were the very definition of charismatic. Now look at you. I’ve gotta say I’m quite disappointed. I raised you well! I taught you the essence of childhood, I showed you how to dance and sing! I taught you how to enjoy a nice long cry! Now you’re just a boring boy, with boring clothes and a beautiful mind. If only the world was so open minded like you and I.
Where did you learn to be so preserved? Puberty must’ve hit you like a tank. Now you’d rather read and write then sing and yell. Wake up! *snap snap* “Hello??? Is anybody there?” said the soul. “Come back Cam!” Is all of this gloominess a product of all the pain inside your mind? Was the 11th grade the straw that broke the camel’s back? You even stopped playing sports, and riding your bike. You told me when you were young that you would never lose your sense of adventure, you said you would “ALWAYS BE ALIVE”. I can call you a lot of things but, a liar? Stop staring at the screen and listen to me, I love you kiddo but I’m dying and I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
I know you and I know what you’re most likely going to say, something along the lines of, “loving life won’t pay the bills!” That’s true but it doesn’t mean you have to be a pathetic lifeless bum, you’re making yourself look funny. I shouldn’t have to lecture you because you already know all of the answers to my questions, we share the same body!
I’m sorry if I’m coming off a bit too strong, I still admire you after all. I admire the way you look at things, everything can be improved and everything holds the capability to love another. Hell even Hitler loved to paint (you know that because you were paying attention in history seminar that day! great job) I admire the way you laugh, it’s so contagious it’s kinda of sickening. I admire your ability to always speak your mind even when you are down and out you always end up swinging for the fences. I admire your use of metaphors in everyday conversation, I particularly love your ability to keep a conversation going with the thoughts from your wild mind. You’re an odd creature.
But along the way where did you lose your right to take a break and enjoy the little things? When you walk places you no longer stop and admire the great ‘yardsmanship’ that some old people have dedicated their lives too. You used to play baseball by yourself when mommy and daddy just weren’t getting along all that well.
Where could a boy possible have acquired a tolerance of pain, such as yours? You always used to walk by old man Sanders’ lawn and wonder how a man who lived such a long life ever could have had the time to worry about a dumb ole yard. You were even able to make up imaginary friends and laugh with yourself when you felt like crying. I miss that version of you.
I’ll never leave you Cam, I’m your soul and I’m a part of you. I will always teach you to grow and care for others, I will always supply you with words when you are giving advice to a fallen friend I will always be your friend. Maybe you’re thinking too much and maybe you should just slow down and go with the flow. Be yourself. And if you ever find yourself lost in your mind, follow the path that, I, your soul, has left you.
Sincerely, Soul
P.S I will be waiting for a response
