When scary things happen…
A lot of us have heard about the passing of Derek J. Sam and our thoughts are with those who are affected by everything that has happened. It’s tragic, in so many ways.
There are so many questions, with so few answers. What happened? Why did it happen? What was going on for him while this was happening? What was he thinking? What was anyone thinking? How are the officers and witnesses and families and friends of those involved doing? Etc. … The investigation is under way though, and some of these questions will be answered, while others will not.
While we know people are doing their best to understand everything, at times it can seem like little solace and comfort, because of the fact there is so much we don’t know and might not ever know. A lot of us don’t know how to feel. We don’t know what we are feeling. A lot of us might feel nervous, or sad, or frustrated, or confused, or [insert emotion here]. So many of us are still wondering … Are we safe? Should I stay away from there? What about my kids? How are people handling this?
When things like this happen, we may realize more people are affected than we originally thought would be. So many people are talking about this, whether in the media or in our homes, workplaces, schools, churches, etc. Even here.
When we are surrounded by conversations and frequently exposed to traumatic events via news, friends, etc., any of us, whether we’re 3, 33, 63, or 93, may start to notice how we or someone we know are experiencing increased anxiety, stress, sadness, etc. So what are we saying? How do our conversations help ourselves? How do they help others? Sometimes, when tragic things like this happen, we may feel like we’re in shock or maybe even stuck. We may feel at a loss for what to do, or where to go from here. So what can we do?
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), a government organization, people may react or cope differently depending upon their age. As we grow, the ways in which we understand what happens around us changes. Many of the reactions we discuss here are normal when handling the stress right after an event. If any of these behaviors last for more than two to four weeks, or if they all of a sudden appear later on, it would be worth talking with a professional, so don’t hesitate to reach out should you have any questions or concerns. If you want to speak directly with us, we are available and can be reached at 554-2600. Or you may check out our blog http://countybmed.org/blog/entry/3998557/when-scary-things-happen where we discuss in more depth how people of all ages experience, react to, and cope with traumatic/scary events.
Mary-Helena McInerney, MA, LCPC is CEO and co-founder of County Behavioral Medicine in Presque Isle.
