Fair Week meets Skunk Time
BUG GUTS & BEAUTY
Middle of summer and the morning fog hides much. It’s Fair Week. Clouds of dirt, the scent of roasting, frying treats, and bone thumping music blanket the fairgrounds. It’s hot, humid, and hazy.
If only it could be bottled and sold in January.
This is also Skunk Time! Most local residents know that skunks are reasonable neighbors and as the local police department can tell you, a few black and white units moving around the City at night do a fair job of keeping denizens of the night in check. One out of line mutt or one careless burglar soon reveals his evil ways with an odor that will knock the socks, shirt and underwear into next week. Hunters, of course, love this scent because they can hide in plain sight from their game.
Skunk scent is part of the mercaptan family of noxious chemicals. Today a competent chemist can make it. In the past people had to capture or kill skunks to get the small gland that makes such a useful stench. It does limit one’s social mobility. At Fair time it adds to the fun and chaos.
Dad was a rare person who knew how to work with skunks. If the polecat’s tail was straight up, grabbing it and hoisting the critter in the air would prevent the discharge of a weapon. If a skunk can not anchor its feet then it can not spray. Knowing how to do this made quiet heroes of a few brave people.
Knowing how to prevent accidental discharges proved to be an asset when neighborhoods needed to remove an over excited deputy before the cuss word jar in the kitchen overflowed.
Ms. O, wife of one of the prominent citizens of the Star City and super avid gardener had to periodically call on this skill of my dad. Using a garden hose, culvert and lots of courage, she could pen deputy skunk in the culvert and then call for help. Dad would oblige. Such moments were always major entertainment because after the culprit was captured how do you remove Deputy Skunk from residential neighborhood to the wilds.
Taxi drivers are a pretty resourceful set of eyes and ears for the police department. They operate at all hours and when not ferrying customers around, they keep tabs on potential problems, passing on a quiet word or two to the authorities. In the 1970s the various drivers and their radios often provided the police department with alerts and observations when needed. Useful when events on the south side needed officers on the north side of town.
Dad got the call for skunk removal one morning and agreed to come by after his rounds. The time arrived. The garden hose activated and Mr. Skunk came storming out of the culvert. Grabbing the tail and hoisting the black and white fur ball in the air there was a new dilemma: It is not possible to drive down the highway holding a skunk. Solution: A convertible, chauffeur with patience, and time.
With Ms. O driving the open top; dad in the backseat and the skunk at arms length, hanging out the side of the car the parade started down Main street. A neighbor driving dad’s car. No twitter feed, no Facebook stream. Telephone calls were a dime. It should be easy to get through town with a skunk at the end of an arm. Nothing strange about that. Main Street at the time was only two lanes wide.
Past Sampson’s, Carroll’s Auto Sales, Academy Street, the Braden, and the Northeastland went this simple circus. Tongues had started to wag and phone calls were being made. What in the world was happening on Main Street. Ms. O was well known. Dad was very familiar as was his hobby. By the time the processional reached the hotel the constabulary had been called out.
Uproar! Disturbance! Nuisance! A radio call was made to officers who were in other parts of the city. As this scene passed by one taxi driver got on his radio and said, “Aw it’s just Doc going by with another skunk!”
Enjoy the Fair.
Orpheus Allison is a photojournalist living in The County who graduated from UMPI and earned a master of liberal arts degree from the University of North Carolina. He began his journalism career at WAGM television later working in many different areas of the US. After 20 years of television he changed careers and taught in China and Korea.
