Marge Kennedy once said, “In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by the number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.”
The type of support Marge Kennedy speaks of is, for many, provided first by our family, and later by those we choose to let into our lives. According to Search Institute, who listed Family Support as Asset No. 1 of the 40 Developmental Assets, there is a strong relationship between effective family support and positive childhood outcomes; particularly higher academic achievement, healthy peer support, effective family communication, positive behavioral adjustment, and better mental health.
According to a national Search Institute survey, 64 percent of youth feel they have Family Support in their lives. What about the other 36 percent of youth? How can parents or guardians create an environment where kids feel loved and supported?
It is easy. Hug them and say, “I love you!” Pay attention to them, listen to them, and take an interest in what they’re doing. Read the same book and discuss it together, listen to their music even if it is not your favorite, and ask for their input when making family decisions. Young adults long for their voices to be heard yet according to the 2015 Maine Integrated Youth Survey only 63.7 percent of Maine youth report having parents who are good at talking to them.
Catch up during a car ride to and from school, sit together and enjoy conversation over a family meal, or provide a space in your home for their friends to gather and take the time to get to know them.
Most importantly, let your love for them show in the way you look at them when they walk into a room, your words, your tone of voice, and your body language. If Marge Kennedy is correct in her statement, “A family is what you make it”, then you as a parent/guardian have great influence in creating the rituals, connections, memories, love, and support that will help shape their lives towards success.
Have you told your son or daughter you love them today?
Allison Heidorn is outreach and marketing coordinator for Healthy Aroostook/Drug Free Communities. She can be reached at 207-999-1014.
