To the editor:
It is with equal parts of sadness and anger that I submit the attached obituary in advance.
Friends and relatives are sad to announce the death of the last vestiges of American Democracy on January 20, 2017 at the age of 240. Despite valiant life support from associate “Three Million Vote Plurality”, Democracy succumbed after being stabbed in the back by the Electoral College on November 9, 2016.
While Democracy had survived many challenges over the years, including wars, slavery, recessions and depressions, and even another Electoral College attack in 2000, it had survived, thrived, and been an example to the whole world in its “representative” form for over two centuries.
Democracy is predeceased by his close friends and allies “Civil Discourse” and “Rational Debate,” both slain in the recent election. His close friends and supporters “Truth” and “Integrity” were seriously injured and may not survive. While still survived by “Lady Liberty,” his dear daughter, she is in mourning and it is feared her broken heart may not survive, and after 130 years as a symbol for what her Father represented, her lamp may no longer be seen as a beacon for those “huddled masses” she has welcomed for so long.
It is noted that Democracy has been laid to rest with space reserved next to him for his other offspring, including minority rights, LGBT and women’s rights, and Mother Earth and the environment, Medicare, and SSI, none of whom are expected to survive long.
Harold Underhill
Frenchville
