Aroostook County needs a space agency. Following on last week’s idea about registering Maine areas as trademarks the next thing to do is to put that registration to use. Mars is the next planet on the world’s bucket list and Aroostook County stands a chance at putting itself on the map.
Payment could be made to put Aroostook on the side of the rocket carrying the astronauts into space. Every time the video is played could mean money in Aroostook County coffers. However, ever, this would be replaced with the following rocket launch when some wise acre might put Nebraska on the side of the rocket and the public would forget who was first. A more permanent revenue booster is needed.
When NASA astronauts tour the classrooms of the United States there is one question which they are all prepared to answer. How does one go to the bathroom in space? If one wants to be an astronaut, bathroom possibilities need to be discussed. NASA even has a video of explanations for school kids that teachers can order.
After bathroom issues are settled, the space explorers must eat. McDonald’s and Burger King have not yet gone into space. Why? Because NASA has yet to figure out how to get the machinery of the space program to make a large order of “Fries to go!” NASA has money to spend. Some of that money is being directed to the next source of french fries that Martian explorers will need for the 18-month trip.
Modern planting techniques are exploring new ways to grow more with less. Aroostook County once carried the slogan “Where Aroostook Grows More.” Yep, WAGM. To this end, money is being spent on finding crops that can grow in very thin air conditions. Leading the research plants is a variety of potato. There are over 3,000 varieties capable of growing in very hot climates to very dry climates. Mars has less gravity and less air than most of the world of earth. In keeping with the idea that we can colonize any thing if we can set up greenhouses and hydroponic apparatus the lowly, humble spud has eyes on space.
People familiar with the home compost pile know that a pile of potato peelings left alone on a compost heap often become potato plants and provide a few bushels of the tasty tubers at the end of the summer. Since the mountains of Peru were the birthplace of the spud. Scientists are looking once again to the spud as a space food. Economic nutritional storage device for the space program! A Peruvian scientist not on the payroll of the Extension Service is now hard at work proving that the spud can grow at altitudes higher than 10,000 feet. This simulates the atmospheric conditions to be found on Mars.
If Aroostook had a space agency to manage this science look at the benefits we would get. Every rocket to Mars would mean money in our pockets. Farmers would be able to take vacations to Knowle’s Corner and Wytopitlock with those proceeds. Pineland Farms could proudly boast of the Aroostook connection. Maine Mutual Group of course would be able to provide insurance. Cheaper if the business headquarters were to relocate to Aroostook. This is why Aroostook County needs a space program.
We have the astronaut thanks to Dr. Meir. If our local high schools would seek out their graduates it would be found that there are a great many engineers and scientists working for the space agency who got their start in the dirt of The County. A bit of spit and polish and this county would be able to retire the farmers and look with awe at the glowing red dot in the night sky.
After all we know that Mars stands for Most Awesome Real Spuds! Where does one find a real spud? Right!
Orpheus Allison is a photojournalist living in The County who graduated from UMPI and earned a master of liberal arts degree from the University of North Carolina. He began his journalism career at WAGM television later working in many different areas of the US. After 20 years of television he changed careers and taught in China and Korea.
