The robot revolution

7 years ago

It is an old canard to ask the question, “When the revolution comes who will be first along the wall for the firing squad?” It is an apt phrase given the bellicosity of some figures in public.

By now we can admit that the robot revolution is coming closer to the roads and fields of Aroostook County. A fine example of this takeover exists with the automated self-checkout kiosks at the friendly Wal-mart and Lowes.

The first warning sign that personnel for these chains are superfluous comes when the one human clerk explains that the machines are not Wal-mart’s — a simple truth that has grave consequences for patrons of the establishment. A human can shrug if there is a problem. The demon machine just demands the same information. It offers no alternatives or explanation as to why it cannot process a sale. This leaves the human customer embarrassed and looking like a fool. Yes, another well-satisfied customer hanging on the hooks of a dilemma.

Does one try to repeat the same steps? The obvious ones such as entering the first three digits for the name of an item? Or, perhaps the first three digits of the beast of the end of time from the Book of Revelations? The hapless clerk says, “No.” Those are only for the produce and bakery products. Now that faint blue and white line is visible. Mark Zuckerberg’s color blindness infects Wal-mart? Who knew?

Unfortunately, as the world modernizes, that mighty rushing sound we hear in the background is not the coming of the Beast. It is the slow, merciless roll-out of a robot army of uncaring, idiotic machines that are incapable of performing a simple task like ringing up a sale. And they still tell you to have a nice day.

Which way to the wall? “Unable to process your query. Please re-enter query in the form of a question.”

Wednesday, Aug. 16, at the Turner Library in Presque Isle will be a chance to meet this author and others. It should be a fun night as the authors will talk about how they came to write on subjects near and far.

Beginning at 6 p.m., 1800 hours, our ink-drinking scribes of the human condition will read and discuss how they came to be writers. A great and wondrous spectacle of the ages, certain to scare your friends and make hamburger of your enemies.

It should be a lot of fun. See you there unless the robots take over.

Orpheus Allison is a photojournalist living in The County who graduated from UMPI and earned a master of liberal arts degree from the University of North Carolina. He began his journalism career at WAGM television later working in many different areas of the US. After 20 years of television he changed careers and taught in China and Korea.