It was an old record (remember vinyl?): “One ringy-dingy… (snort) Two ringy-dingy… (snort snort) … Hello, Mr. Beedle? This is the phone company…”
Lily Tomlin as “Ernestine the Telephone Operator” still cracks me up.
Lately, though, phones haven’t been so funny. There’s a plague among us: scammers who masquerade as people or businesses we know and attempt to flatter, coax and threaten us to impart personal information or send money.
Their tactics range from IRS impersonation variations, along with long-lost relative schemes, to, “Your computer has a virus — call immediately to save it,” and “You’ve won a week’s stay at our resort.” And they’ll try anything to induce you to provide account numbers or wire them money, or even gift cards.
Local police on up through state and federal officials offer the same advice: Never divulge any personal information and never send them anything. A legitimate business or agency will not harass or demand money.
And day after day, the crooks become cleverer. Now they can “spoof” Caller ID services to make it look like they’re calling from a local number — hoping to entice you to bite that hook. Not surprisingly, the practice also is known as phishing.
After receiving numerous calls this month purporting to be from Maine numbers with scammers on the other end, claiming everything from student loan forgiveness to expired vehicle warranties, I had had enough of being baited. I wanted to do something.
So I began staying on the line. Three times I selected the “do not call me anymore” option — of course they called again. When I did reach an actual person, the results ranged from a surprisingly polite man who apologized for calling about my non-existent student loans to an extremely gruff guy with a thick foreign accent who became angry when I asked where his company was located. Most of the time when someone answered, though, the line simply went dead after I asked for their name and whereabouts.
One recent day, different callers saying they were from a credit card service company and a vehicle warranty marketing firm called from the same number. One person said he was with MMG, which he clarified as Monmouth Marketing Group, of Monmouth University.
Except — the number on my Caller ID wasn’t from New Jersey; it had Maine’s 207 area code.
The search websites Spokeo and Intelius narrowed the number’s location to the Portland area; the full report could be mine for a special price of 95 cents. The more helpful Phonix.org cited the number as a New England Telephone, now Fairpoint Communications, landline in Portland, installed in 1995.
All of which, of course, means nothing, because scammers spoof numbers. I’ll wager 90 percent of folks reading this have seen a local number come up on their Caller ID which turns out not to be the water company or Aunt Jenny.
Pressing further, I called Monmouth University and — surprise — there was no one named Daryl in their marketing department. Smelling a scam, the operator transferred me to campus police. The officer concurred it was a scam, and after making sure I hadn’t divulged anything, said spoofing happens — and there’s unfortunately little that can be done.
Next, I visited the Maine attorney general’s website and found the consumer mediation reporting address. I emailed them with specifics — and learned something valuable from their reply: Don’t stay on the line and try talking to anyone. All that does is let them know the number they’re dialing works. They’ll just keep calling.
Good advice.
Just recently, on Halloween as a matter of fact, Maine Attorney General Janet Mills issued a statement warning of yet another phone scam, in which the caller tells the recipient that he or she has won an award from the state Department of Health and Human Services — the person just needs to pay $200 for an “access code” to receive the prize.
“If you receive a similar call, don’t be fooled,” Mills said via the press release. “The government will not call you to ask for your credit card information over the phone.”
She urged people to contact the Consumer Protection Division of the attorney general’s office at consumer.mediation@maine.gov, or via phone at 1 (800) 436-2131 for more information or to report a scam. For tips on how to avoid scams, visit www.maine.gov/ag/consumer/scams.shtml.
It all boils down to the same idea: DO NOT, under any circumstances, reveal any personal or financial information to someone you don’t know.
What really makes me boil is you can’t even have the satisfaction of growling or hanging up on these annoying callers. With robocalls, there’s nobody there, and if there is a real person, it’s best to not engage with them at all — you’re just setting yourself up as bait.
Well, I’m tired of being the bait. I’ll be glad when this phishing season is over.
