Splat! This is the sound that causes the heart rate to increase and spurs furtive glances around one’s proximity. First, it is clearly a wet sound. Wet sounds usually come from some material that has yet to coagulate into a solid form. Whatever made that sound is going to be very messy to clean up.
Call it the yuck factor.
The sound could come from any object that is capable of mixing water and solids into a gelatinous mass. This material is then deposited on a hard surface. Kids find it an especially fun sound. Mud pies, cow pies and ooze all make their own splat sounds. The Minion movies and 5-year-olds find the sound horribly amusing. Adults will find it funny unless they are on the receiving end. Nature does have a sense of humor.
These sounds came to mind upon leaving the grand establishment of Marden’s. Splat — walking out into the parking lot on a gorgeous day. The resident seagulls were having their coffee and croissants while gossiping about the exorbitant prices of worms and bugs, or the number of cars in the parking lot. Seagulls are members of our community. They have their favorite shopping places, eating places and lounging spaces. As members of this town, they adapt and move depending on the needs of other members.
Birds lack a particular muscle in their bodies. This muscle is designed to keep various body materials inside the body so that the public is not offended. Birds are believed to have descended from dinosaurs. If the dinosaurs did not have this particular muscle then the Flintstones would have had to wear boots. A bird will eat food, lots of food. Never met one who was not hungry. Ingesting the food, swigging some water and tossing in a few stones, the seagull digests the material and creates energy to fly about creating havoc.
The food goes from mouth to throat, gizzard and intestines. From french fry to food source, the food is dissolved in acids mixed by muscular stomachs and gizzards. Then it proceeds to the gut, where the intestines siphon off the necessary nutrients. The remaining material collects. It has to go somewhere.
Birds have evolved to use everything in their environment to help themselves. Convincing tail feathers to leave the ground is a heavy task. Made easier by the lack of a sphincter muscle, the very act of flying removes the body of the bird from the vicinity of noxious material. Feathers do not want to smell bad. The product produced is expelled from the bird while it is in the air.
And the resulting slimy, putrid material makes a wet sound on the pavement. Splat!
Orpheus Allison is a photojournalist living in The County who graduated from UMPI and earned a master of liberal arts degree from the University of North Carolina. He began his journalism career at WAGM television later working in many different areas of the US. After 20 years of television he changed careers and taught in China and Korea.
