I had what is categorized as a “sleepless night” last evening. I am not sure what it was that was behind such turmoil within me, but it was causing great havoc and dismay. I believe we all strive for peace of mind and during the usual hours of sweet and welcome slumber.
I was wide awake. I arose a few times, looking out over the city from my window. I was a sentinel of sorts. Those I hold dear were busy emitting their individual sounds of solace as they lay safe under my watch.
I guess we can quite safely say that we are living in an era that is unlike any other in history. We have made phenomenal advances in technology in the past two decades, yet we fell prey to a worldwide pandemic quite reminiscent of that experienced centuries ago. We have the unimaginable ability to watch wars between nations play out before our eyes on news networks, yet we fail miserably at universal outreach to promote mutual agreement.
Despite all of the endless transformations and changes, there is one common denominator; our humanity. We are privy to emotions and tendencies that do not change rapidly and I am thankful for this, despite the tumultuous days both behind us and before us.
And so, I contemplated many things during my journey in and out of the semi-lit rooms in my house last night. I thought of loved ones no longer of this world and newly diagnosed maladies for those who remain. I reveled in joy for my smart decisions and scolded myself for some of my rash, if not selfish and somewhat immature actions. I debated whether or not I should make up a list of new year resolutions and then praised myself for deciding against it! I laughed and I cried during my vigil, finally giving into exhaustion and falling asleep just as the darkness surrendered to the dawn.
We all have sleepless nights, my friends. Perhaps we see what lies within more clearly when lights are dimmed and silence prevails. My wish for you is a healthy and happy new year; overflowing with love and peaceful nights filled with the sweetest of dreams.
Belinda Ouellette lives in Caribou with her Goldendoodle, Barney. You may email her at belindaouellette9@gmail.com.
