It is nearly time for those fresh New Year’s Resolutions. We frantically savor seasonal treats, like that raspberry chocolate cheesecake; justifying its speedy ingestion with the solid knowledge that as of Jan. 1, 2013, we will leave all sweets behind upon our quest to become healthy, happy and svelte. We will stop smoking, gossiping, drinking too much vino, and procrastinating. We promise ourselves to be more thoughtful, compassionate, and forgiving. We will reorganize our closets and our lives. Many of us are successful in this endeavor and some of us simply are not.
Dressed in flannel pajama pants, a pink sweatshirt, and raspberry bedroom slippers, I stepped out onto our snow-covered deck, holding on frantically to my black plastic shovel. Barney, our Goldendoodle, impatiently pushed past me and leaped into about eight inches of cotton. His curly, ivory fur was a buttery yellow in contrast with the solid white snow. Jumbo sized snowflakes buried themselves in his long eyelashes as he attempted to capture each ribbon of frozen confetti in his mouth. He leaped and twirled before me, his long legs launching him upwards and then softly back down; surrounded by velvety paw prints.
With great reluctance, I called him back inside the warmth of the house with whispered promises that only he understands. “Come inside, Barney-Doodle. We will go back outside in a while.” I am filled with gratitude for such a simple pleasure. The solitary item on Barney’s agenda is to love.
I thought suddenly of the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut and the hearts that lie broken all around us and once again I asked why? Being told there is a reason for everything, we attempt to make some sense of this atrocity. The angels weep for there is no sense and there is no reason. We are left with empty arms, wounded spirits, and prayers tinged with anger and regret. In the end, we accept the bitter reality. There is no explanation and there is no excuse.
It was at that moment I decided to give myself a break in 2013. No high expectations or demands this year. I will do more smiling, dancing, forgiving and laughing. I will watch more movies, read more books, try new recipes, and take more five-minute walks. Simply put, perhaps if we are kinder to ourselves, we will be kinder to each other.
In 2013, I am going to celebrate life; despite its infinite imperfections. Will you join me?
Editor’s Note: Belinda Wilcox Ouellette lives Connor TWP with her husband Dale and their Goldendoodle Barney. They are currently working on building a home in Caribou. You may contact Belinda online at: dbwouellette@maine.rr.com.
