I was wearing what I referred to as my grass green bowling shirt along with my favorite pair of jeans and shopping day at the Bangor Mall was reaching its grand finale. I was due to meet Mom and Lisa just outside of J.C. Penney in about 20 minutes, so I went into the ladies’ restroom, packages in hand.
As I was about to leave, two young women walked in and I could see their boyfriends just outside the door, waiting in the little “sitting room” provided. The two young men nodded and smiled and I did the same, suddenly remembering I had left a small package inside one of the bathroom sectionals. I went back into the bathroom area, shopping bags swinging at my side, and retrieved the forgotten package. The young women were preening in the mirror and chatting about someone named Marla as I excused myself and once again made my exit.
The two couples were right behind me, and because it was starting to snow outside, comments were being made about the chance of a storm. The conversation was friendly and because we were walking so closely together, I was drawn in by their smiles. “I sure hope we don’t get too much snow,” I commented. “My mom and my sister and I are headed north; to Caribou.” One of the young men told me to drive carefully and I thanked him, walking along beside them now and trying desperately not to bang into my companions with my swinging bags.
One of the young ladies glanced toward me and then leaned in toward her friend. Her words were clear and certainly loud enough for everyone close by to hear. “I can tell you one thing,” she said. “I’ll never feel fat again.” With that, she looked directly at me while her friend laughed nervously. The young man holding her hand pulled her toward him and spoke softly into her ear as his eyes locked with mine.
I looked away and stepped to one side, my shopping bags banging against my legs just before I sat them down beside me. The couples moved onward, a cluster of sharp whispers lingering behind. I had experienced the “mean girl syndrome” many years ago, but this was somehow different. I was cut to the bone.
Most assuredly, I am not the first or the last to experience a cruel comment made for no apparent reason, and though it has been 30 years since that moment at the Bangor Mall, I have never been able to file it away. Against my better judgment, I empowered that young woman’s remarks to linger with me throughout all of these years and that is my error. Before I lash out, I pray I always remember that the tongue is a sharp weapon, and sometimes the damage done, even by a stranger, can never be repaired.
Belinda Wilcox Ouellette lives Connor TWP with her husband Dale and their Goldendoodle Barney. They are currently working on building a home in Caribou. You may contact Belinda online at: dbwouellette@maine.rr.com.
