To the editor:
The new year is creeping upon us very fast. Many of us are wondering what we will choose to be our resolution for 2016.
I was thinking about it myself while sitting in my comfortable rocking chair pondering it over in my mind while waiting for my wife to get ready for the New Year’s dance. We were going to dance the night away and bring the new year in with a bang.
I closed my eyes for a moment to think about my New Year’s resolution. Before I knew it I was driving down a country road. Suddenly in front of me stood an object. I slammed my brakes on. The object came over to my window. I rolled it down and heard a soft gentle voice say, “ Look at me big fella! Don’t you want to take me to the dance. I’m very sweet and nutty to the taste. I said, no thank you, I already have a sweet date with my wife. I closed the window and drove away. It just didn’t make any sense to me at all.
A few miles down the road I felt a gentle breeze on my neck coming from the back seat. I froze and couldn’t move a bone in my body. She whispered into my ear from behind. “I thought we were going to the dance tonight? I have a very smooth moving body and can melt in your mouth as we waltz across the floor.” I sighed as I explained to her my wife was my sweet date for the dance tonight. The voice faded away into the darkness of my back seat as I continued driving down the road.
I came upon a red light and stopped. There was a tiny shaped woman with her arms full of boxes crossing before me. They looked like Christmas gifts but I knew Christmas had already passed. I just closed my eyes to ignore the foolishness but could still smell a sweet aroma as she crossed the road before me.
Then all of a sudden I felt a coldness going through my body. I was still sitting in my rocker but the rocker was out in the yard in the middle of the driveway. It was so cold! I looked up and coming toward me quickly down the driveway were three men dressed up funny with swords in their hands. Fear came over my body as they got closer to me. It was then a good man came running out of the bushes and scared them away.
I relaxed as I looked up into the sky and felt peace in my heart. There were more stars and colors in the sky than I had ever seen before in my life. There was a sweetness about it.
My rocker started shaking and I opened my eyes. I was back inside my warm house again. To my surprise it was my wife standing before me. I wiped the sweat from my brow and shared with her my nightmare. I asked her if she could make any sense out of it. She then began telling me her interpretation.
The woman who was sweet and nutty to the taste was nothing more than a delicious Babe Ruth candy bar. The woman with the very smooth moving body and could melt in your mouth as you waltzed across the floor was nothing more than a delicious fudge-covered ice cream cone. I sat there and didn’t say a word. She went on to say, the three men coming toward you with swords in their hands represented the Three Musketeers candy bar, the good man who saved you was a Mr. Goodbar, and all the bright colors and stars you saw in the sky had to be the Milky Way candy bar. She then laughed and said “the little woman with all the gifts in her arms who crossed before you at the red light earlier in the dream is the easiest one of all to interpret. She was Little Debbie with boxes full of her sweet treats.” I just shook my head and was amazed by her interpretations.
I sat in my rocker and thought it over for a moment and realized my wife was right. Because just before I dozed off I had decided what my resolution was going to be for 2016. I was going to stop devouring sweets.
My wife had hit the nail right on the head. But as I was thinking this over in deeper thought, I knew what caused all this confusion in my mind in the first place. It was my sweet tooth cravings for that delicious evil Devil Dog that got the best of me.
Aw! Those Resolutions. Be careful this year when you make your resolution, it just may come back to bite you. “Happy New Year!”
